It's Mother's Day, I'm Not a Mom, but I'm a Mess!

Church today was good for my soul. Not that it always isn't, but it really was today. You see, the older I get, the more sentimental and emotional I am about certain things. Motherhood is something that has always been emotional and amazing to me. I love nothing more than watching the bond between a mother and child. Hence the reason why I love doing newborn photography.


I am not a mother. I am not ready to be a mother yet, but I constantly dream of that day and wonder what it would feel like.


It all started at church today when the preacher asked everyone to raise their hand if they were sitting in church today with their mother. It seemed like almost every hand in the sanctuary went up.....except for mine and Aaron's. And then, I cried. I looked over at Aaron and I could tell he was feeling the same way as me. We missed our moms (and of course our dad's too).


Then, the preacher asked for all mother's to raise their hands. Next, he gave flowers to the oldest and youngest mother's in the room. The oldest was 80 and the youngest was 21. Then, he gave flowers to the mother with the most children with her at church....she had all 4 grown children with her. And I cried.


All of that got me thinking. I began thinking about everyone in that room and in my life who has lost their mother this last year, or in year's past and how hard this day must be for them. And I cried.


Then, I noticed the mother sitting in front of me with her baby who was of a different ethnicity than her....assuming he was adopted, I began to think of all my friends and family members who would make the most amazing mothers, but are struggling to conceive and those who have chosen to adopt...and I cried.


Then, a group of women and their children went to the front of the church to take the offering and a woman standing next to her mother and daughter was asked to pray and she couldn't get through the prayer without crying. It took me back to Easter Sunday when my mom prayed over our lunch and she boo-hoed during her prayer thanking God for having both her children home. Her tears were contagious...and again, I cried.


Then, I thought about all my friends who were given the gift of motherhood this year and year's past and all their precious babies whom I love dearly...and I cried.


I don't know what got into me, but once I started, I just couldn't stop. When we got into the car after church, Aaron asked what was wrong with me and I explained it to him just as I have on this blog and I was bawling.


All this to say, I am thankful for my mother and all other mother's out there. The way you sacrifice and provide for your children is a beautiful thing to me.


Who can find a virtuous woman? She is far more precious than jewels...
Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
Her sons rise up and call her blessed.
He husband also praises her:
Many women are capable, but you surpass them all!
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
~Proverbs 31:10, 25-30

I love you mamma!!